In this modern era, day by day communication is becoming lesser & for better communication, one need to become keen listener. But we don’t have time for listening as well as communicating. An assertive communication can improve your child’s self – confidence and self – esteem. which is more important in this competitive life.
Sometimes we hear negative or one-sided conversation between parents and children. Such as, Hey, don’t jump on sofa! don’t throw the things!! Don’t spit!! Don’t run!! Why are you crying are you crazy shut your mouth and seat!! Don’t wear shorts!! Don’t go out with your friends!! No night outs…. No, No, No…. Being a parent, we have that authority to dictate our children, right? Yes, why not it is right but have you ever explained your children if no then what?? Why No ?? what are the reasons?? We are only creating or imposing negative thoughts, self-doubt and curiosity in children. So such communication is converted into authoritative communication which is unsafe for your child’s further growth.
Children hear only un-affirmative statements in their surroundings so they create self -doubt and because of self-doubt they just lose their self – confidence and self-esteem. With our communication we are only enforcing them to behave like a dumb. And remember:
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
It means if we want to convey some message thru communication, but if it is not clear or pessimistic then children can perceive it in wrong way and create their own thoughts and can create negative world surrounding them. Such as, children might think no one loves them, no one cares for them, no one listens to them etc.so to avoid such situations we need to be assertive communicator and here we go…
Assertiveness is the healthiest style of communication.
- Give respect to their feelings – in this case if child comes to you and talks about their feelings, at that time, they just want that someone needs to hear them instead of lectures and advises.
- Be the Keen listener – Whenever child comes to you for conversation, keep your work aside and listen them first, be approachable.
- Give importance – Let there be anything but give importance to their words or decisions.
- Control your aggression – If you think your child’s behavior is inappropriate then explain them appropriate behavior rather than scolding, beating or giving punishment.
- Avoid Criticism – Avoid criticizing your child which may cause disappointment in them either teach them to handle it.
- Be a role model – If we are expecting something from them then we need to follow it first because you are the role model and first influencer for them.
- Praise your children – Praise them for their small achievements and build their confidence level.
Assertiveness works in all situations, giving kids guidelines for navigating everything from the Playground to the Academics. It helps kids have healthy relationships and a solid self-esteem.